So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
two words...techno handjob
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize