Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
