i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
