i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize