Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
