You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
