Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He has the fingertips of a God
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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