K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
