we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize