omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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