I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
