I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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