Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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