Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
