the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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