i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
