when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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