I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
