First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
