Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
