I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
