yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A+ Viking dick
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