Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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