ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
