thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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