tell your sister to shave her snatch
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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