I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
