R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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