I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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