you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
