I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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