He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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