i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
