I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
