Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
