Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
