What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
