you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
