Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
