Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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