How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
