I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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