Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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