i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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