I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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