it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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