You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
