So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
