So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
