Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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