I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
