you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
