a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
