no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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