he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
