I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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