And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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