Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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