there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
