The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
