We're facebook friends in real life
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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