Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
