I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize