we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
