There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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