dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
