she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
