speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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