whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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