I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize