Screwed.edu
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
