okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
