heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
