Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
cat food counts as protein by the way
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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