i may or may not be watching the land before time
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
