She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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