i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
