oh god the rape fog is back!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you didnt know i had herpes?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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