I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His nipple licking is glorious
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