he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
